peace of mind in galactic waves

I feel like my confidence and passion and drive for my year's plans of travel and language learning is a ride on a really loopy, curvy, crazy roller coaster. Up and down and upside down; every other day I change my mind and change back and worry that what I'm doing is stupid and then feel absolutely sure that is the best thing for me to do. Basically, I'm sure that I'm unsure which leads to some complications.

Overall, though, I guess I'm doing a good thing this year by not joining the actively job hunting unemployed?

It's kind of scary to go so against the norm when you've been traveling along a perfect pathway for all your life. But that perfect pathway has already led me to a spectacular end point. Past the end, it's all me. So I plunge into the black abyss filled with looping endless options and hope that I haven't just plunged to my destruction, but rather will someday find myself on solid ground looking up at the beautiful starry sky I successfully navigated through.

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.~Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy