My uncle ordered popovers
from the restaurant's bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them with a penetrating stare.
Then he spoke great words of wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
"To eat these things," said my uncle,
"You must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what's solid,
but you must spit out the air!"
And as you partake of the world's bill of fare,
that's darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow.
~Theodore Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
So I know I’ve been bad at keeping up this blog the past few
months, but it isn’t that I haven’t been thinking and reflecting on my
experiences here in South Africa, but more that I have far too much to say and
none of it is very easily shared. I’m almost done with my time at the
University of Cape Town (last paper due this week! yay!) and time is flying by. The city is beautiful and I was quick to settle into a routine.
Not being able to move around at night on my own due to the danger has been
hard to get used to, but in the end I’m only here for 4 months so I can handle
it. And luckily I love my home, like the neighborhood I live in, and have great South African roommates, so I don't mind not spending every night out. I started out feeling very isolated in my school bubble, and though I still
very much am, I at least feel I can get out a bit from time to time now. So overall, yes, life
is good in Cape Town.
But the dilemma I’ve been having here is experiencing the sharp contrast between rich and poor, black and white, the
haves and the have-nots which has been rattling me to the core of my life vision. In all my travels, even some travels in lesser-developed
countries, I have never experienced this extreme blatant contrast before. Beggars
who expect you to give them 50 rand everyday and get mad at you if you don’t.
Informal settlements built right up next to high-income housing complexes, even
right next to the international airport. What’s worse is the postcards of the
informal settlements (because you know what you want to send home is a postcard
of the homes of people who can’t afford homes…) and the highly publicized tours
of townships (so you can go take pictures of these poor people who were
relocated during Apartheid to badly located and still
inadequately-serviced-by-public-transport-housing-settlements). The city street
poverty at every corner is hard to bear when its something you've never really had to face before. And the add in of the racial factor (which as an American, I'm aware of but never speak of...) is extremely uncomfortable. It's one thing to talk about the poor and a very different thing to realize that the "poor" are real people living their lives anyway they can. It's humbling and terrifying and you can't help but feel conflicted about the entire state of the world.
Along with this everyday lived experience, I took a
course on Development Theory and Practice in which I learned about how development
projects rarely succeed in achieving what they aim to and how many even spread
negative results in these communities that so desperately need help. One of the big themes we’ve been debating is what the role we play
in all this. What right do I have to go into an “underdeveloped” community and
tell them they need education reform? Or even clean water? So we study
theorists that promote Freedom as Development (Sen) or emphasize the role of
communication and democratic discussion in development (Habermas) and try and
get some answers. So should I conduct a democratic forum and we decide together
as a community what needs to be done? But what if they just want a handout of
food every week or a new TV for the community center? What if they don’t want
development? What if they feel entitled to be given all they need by
the government just because they happen to be born on South African soil?
What do we do? What role do I play? Where do I fit in this
fight? Do I even fit into this fight at all, or am I just an unwanted fool from
the world of the suppressers?
This is just some of the stuff that has been racing through
my head. Just thought I’d attempt to share a bit of insight into a deeper part
of my time in South Africa. So now you see why I haven’t been the best at
keeping up on my blogging here, my brain is exploding with private debates. But now that my time in South Africa is wrapping up and I've had some good talks with people and interesting experiences, I feel I'm definitely understanding where I fit in. And I'm excited for life and excited to do my best to live my life well, contributing what I can to this world to make it a better place.
My last paper is due this week and then I have some interesting travels planned
(Krugar National Park, Mozambique, and the Wild Coast) so more to
come... J
